author : Ni Eka Pranita Dewi
translation: Heather Curnow
with thanks to : Panji Tisna
i should never have listened
to the sky’s echo, the runaway afternoon,
i can’t find my mother
the stars have dimmed, the clouds are sleeping
but your words, your words, mother
are as dust that settles on my soul
the crow’s hoarse voice whispers my fate
i have no idea when my sin will be erased
for this is siwaratri night
and maybe i’ll sin again tomorrow
with no afternoon
no clouds, no whispering crows
my body no longer exists
;naked
there are no banana leaves to cover it
a gang of gods
sit on the white stone
are they the afternoon fathers?
the gods parade through the temple
carrying my naked body
to the place
where i must worship them
the old frangipani tree is a silent witness
as the gods take turns…
the gods grope my body
i am the whore of the gods
so then what must i worship
my body is no longer my body
the gods perform this sin
on the night of siwaratri…
and now you can read the words
on the white stones, all the words
of the angels, mother of all mothers
i weep as the afternoon
bears witness to what remains
of my body.
february 2005
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