My Grandmother’s Tale
 
Tereeao Teingiia-Ratite  

That night, my mind was busy thinking about the separation, which was coming soon and hard to believe. My eyes stared at the thatches of the house, which were brushing slightly to the tune of the soft breeze from the sea.

It was early in the month of September 1941 when there were rumours of war coming towards our island-Nikunau. The rumours were spread fast as fire among the gossiping women in the mwaneaba doing their chores for the community celebration of harvest – te kaota. There were newly made mats scattered on the graveled floor of the mwaneaba, preserved foods from pandanus and coconut fruits as well as dried fish to commemorate the harvest season. I was among those who were going home to get ready for the celebrations when my eldest daughter Miriama ran and pulled my skirt. Smiling at her innocent look I was surprised when she told me to go home. She was desperate to get ready for the celebration with her younger sister Ruina who was waiting under the breadfruit tree near the mwaneaba. “Where’s your father? Is he at home or still cutting toddy?” “He‘s waiting for you too. We were feeding the pigs together before he sent me here to tell you he needs you, Mama”. “Okay, okay, I’m coming!” I said as I winked at one of my cousins who was still helping with the preparations and decoration of the mwaneaba.

I was richly blessed with a hard working and caring husband and two adorable daughters, Miriama aged six and Ruinaa aged four. Miriama had the resemblance of me while Ruina of her father, Ramten. As the only child in the family, my father’s twin sisters spoiled me. They never wanted to marry because they believed that their spouses would then own what they would inherit from their family. They were conservative women, I presumed. I had privileges of owning lands, kainga and other family possessions such as te wa – a canoe and the family survival skills such as fishing, weaving and some traditional healing techniques. Happiness was always within our small family circle, when an incident occurred. It was related to the recent rumors, which were spread over Nikumanu village where we lived. The conch shell was blown throughout the villages on the island and instantly young men were assembled under the village mwaneaba.

I was tending to my two girls when Ramten hurriedly came and announced for their departure the next night. They were to be sent to Tarawa first on the coming ship for some unreasonable matters. They also mentioned Banaba (Ocean Island) but maybe after we completed our mission on Tarawa. Ramten looked at me for a while obviously deep in thought and then with strong emotions he said, “I trust you with all my heart that you would wait for me and look after my folks and daughters. We were informed by the unimwane - wise old men that we will soon be back by one or two months. However, I feel that it might be longer so I want you to wait for me and remember that I will always love you, as you know. It is hard to disrespect the decision made under the mwaneaba and also by those wise old unimwane. What would the people say if I choose to stay back? Or what would happen to our siblings? They would be mocked and it would be said that their father or grandfather was a coward. I know you believe this to be true so please allow me to go for it is not for us alone but for the sake of the people of Nikunau and Kiribati as a whole”.  I was shocked and I could feel my heart beating faster than its normal beat. I quickly leaned onto the strong post of the house and slowly dropped down. I knew something was going to happen. I tried to think of something to make me look pleased but my heart was yearning to scream.

Rumours were then correct. The Japanese were invading Kiribati and taking most of the young healthy and fit men to help construct their plans, which were against the overruling power of the British Empire. That night, my mind was busy thinking about the separation, which was coming soon and hard to believe. My eyes stared at the thatches of the house, which were brushing slightly to the tune of the soft breeze from the sea. I then remembered my father’s dagger, which was handed to me as a souvenir. I also remembered my necklace made of red and white beads, which my parents-in-law gave me the day of our marriage. With the little light from the rotten copra, which was usually burnt to keep the mosquitoes and other night bugs from attacking us, I managed to find my precious items in the chest under the folded materials. I wrapped them in a small handkerchief and put it under the sleeping mat.

Then, I called my husband, “Ramten, Ramten, I want you to take this handkerchief with you”, I said as I pulled the handkerchief from under the sleeping mat. “It contains a dagger, the remembrance of my father, which can be of great help to you at times. The second one is my bead necklace. You can wear it any time. It will be the remembrance of my love for you. Please, take good care of them for me and bring them back with you on your return. I don’t want you to forget about me!” I smiled as I put back the items and folded the handkerchief again. Ramten did not reply but just nodded his head twice.

Before we retired to sleep, Ramten held me tight and whispered, “I love you, Aborina. I will always love you till I die. Please look after yourself well and our adorable princesses. On my return, I promise you that I will never leave you again and I will bring back those precious items you mentioned”. After his words, a smile shaped my lips while teardrops rolled down my cheeks. I did not have the courage to thank him so I closed my eyes tight and ended up sleeping in his arms. That night, I had an appalling dream. It was not sequence; it jumped from one image to another. Obviously, I became aware of the light coming through the woven bakatarawa, which were hanging as temporary walls around the sleeping house. The sun was rising over the picturesque blue sea, and its light filtered through the screening in the front of our home. There was not a single canoe, not even a fisherman ready to go out fishing.

The village was in total silence depicting the coming sad hours. The community was used to working hand in hand in all things. For example, the women would help weave new thatches for a family’s home or the men would cut logs and timber for the construction of homes that need renovation. Laughter and songs would be heard under the trees, at homes, on the beaches and in the bushes. This day was a different one. The barking dogs seemed to be disturbing the silence. The toddy cutters used to sing while up in trees but that day was extraordinary. It marked the saddest news of the beloved young men who were ready to travel by ship to the main island of Tarawa. I knew, I would be missing my husband for long. And so would our families, especially our adorable girls, Miriama and Ruina. Instead of the harvest festival, it was a farewell gathering for the chosen men. The families, especially the loved ones, experienced tears rolling down the faces like the drippings of sweat on foreheads during the times of chores.

The beach was full of people to see the ship and those who were going on board. Ramten said his last farewell to his girls. They were holding hands under te mao bushes when their father kissed them on their cheeks.  “Are you going away, Pa?”  asked Miriama. “Yes, but will be back soon. I want you to look after your sister and Mama. Can you do that for Papa?” “Sure, on one condition.” “What is that?”, asked Ramten. “You send me something special, eh, Papa!” “Yes, I’m going. I love you both.” Then he rushed to me and shook my hand. “Well, see you soon and remember I love you so much”. Then he waved to everyone. “Tia bo!” he said as he quickly stepped into a boat which took him and the other young men to the huge ship. Everyone watched as the ship sailed away towards the setting sun. It was getting dark and my blurred eyes were strained. Immediately, I wiped my teardrops with the back of my hand and whispered to the sea while everyone was busy watching and talking. “I will wait for you. My love will be as strong as the north wind which will take you back to me again soon”.

“Grow, grow my plant the kimatore. I am dying under     this hot sun, please grow and grow up!”

Weeks and months passed so fast. I managed to cope with my beloved daughters under the guidance of my in-laws. Miriama was a determined girl who wanted to do what interested her most. She became a pretty but adventurous one. She wanted to attend a Catholic village school that was run by several nuns and a French priest named Morris. The Island people, especially Catholic members, usually called him Te Tama Moriti. Miriama was one of the few young girls who were immersed with the biblical teachings of the Catholic doctrine. Ruina was the opposite. She was more conservative to the traditional ways. She wanted to learn the skills that the Kiribati girls should learn.

Every night, I would sit down on the beach facing the sunset and wish for the coming of my Ramten. Often I would lie down near my daughters and listen to their grandma’s tales. My favorite tale was about Nei Ikuiku te bina (literally means Miss Ikuiku the youngest) It’s a legend about the three sisters who were raised by their single mother. Their names were Nei Ikuiku te karimoa, Nei Ikuiku te karinuka and Nei Ikuiku te bina. The mother was very kind to the two eldest daughters but was not to the youngest. During the first menstruation of each girl, she must be confined and have spells put on her so she might become a woman dedicated to her future husband and family. Also, she would be taught different skills; especially the family skills which would equip her in her life. Nei Ikuiku te karimoa and Nei Ikuiku te karinuka went through this traditional process. However, when it was time for Nei Ikuiku te bina, the mother did not take heed of her. She told her to forget about her menstruation and do what she normally does. The youngest daughter was disappointed and ran away from home and went to the beach. She felt lonely and desperate so she began to cry. While crying, she found a small plant called the kimatore among the raised sandy beach in front of her. Her sorrows diminished instantly and she smiled at the little plant. After she thought for a while, she began to sing unto it, “Grow, grow my plant the kimatore. I am dying under this hot sun, please grow and grow up!”  While she was reciting her song again, the plant began to grow tall. It turned into a tall and huge tree which touched the clouds. Nei Ikuiku te bina quickly climbed it to the top and saw an old lady named Nei Nibarara filling her empty coconut shells with kamwaimwai - preserved toddy syrup. She was blind so Nei Ikuiku te bina did not think twice. She immediately stole her last toddy shell and drank it. Nei Nibarara felt somebody’s existence and without doubt she noticed the missing toddy as well. For some time, she tried to concentrate with her counting. She frowned when she lost count of the missing toddy shells. After some great effort, she got hold of Nei Ikuiku te bina’s hand. “I’ve got you at last. You’ll be very delicious for my sons’ dinner. Just wait and see!”

I was imagining that I was Nei Ikuiku te bina with the unfortunate fate. Well, my thoughts disappeared when I heard Miriama’s moaning to her grandmother. “Continue, grandmother, please! What happened to Nei Ikuiku te bina? Was Nei Nibarara able to slaughter her?” “No, she cannot. Remember, she’s blind!” Ruina responded. “Okay, where did I…?, asked their grandmother. All right, I know”. While Nei Nibarara and Nei Ikuiku te bina were talking, they heard loud noises just like thunder storms. “What are those?” asked Nei Ikuiku te bina. “Well, well, those are my sons. They are returning. They are huge and about four or five times your size. I know they will pot you up on fire and have you as their dinner. If you ask me to stop them, I cannot stop them! They are my giants and I’m scared of them too!”.

Nei Ikuiku te bina pleaded guilty against her and promised she would help her to open her blinded eyes. Suddenly, Nei Ikuiku te bina directed her healing skills into the old lady’s eyes. Soon she was able to see everything, especially the innocent Nei Ikuiku te bina. She, quickly told Nei Ikuiku te bina that her sons will be home soon and that she should hide under some rotten mats near the open fire.

“I don’t want to be like Nei Ikuiku te bina! Please don’t let the giants eat her. I’m scared, Mama!” sobbed Ruina. “Sh…sh… you are not Nei Ikuiku te bina. You can’t be her. Anyway, just wait and see. I hope she might be fortunate soon. Come-on, Mama what happen next?” Miriama was eager to continue with the story.

“Where were we …? Oh, I remember!” On arrival of the sons, they sensed something strange. The youngest son sensed it was a person so they searched for it. When they found Nei Ikuiku te bina, they held her so aggressively that she thought she was dead. With little strength she had, she pleaded with them to spare her life. Their mother felt sorry for her and begged her sons to save her. She testified to them that Nei Ikuiku te bina is from downland, the Earth who came to their homeland, the Moon, to find shelter and new life. She also claimed that Nei Ikuiku te bina had saved her life. She was not blind any more. With her special healing skills, Nei Ikuiku te bina had cleansed her blindness well. This made the sons very happy and spared Nei Ikuiku te bina’s life. During dinner, she told them her story and how she came to their homeland, the Moon. Everyone was sorry for her, especially Nei Nibarara. She trusted that Nei Ikuiku te bina’s fate had saved her life. The same moment, the eldest son of Nei Nibarara proposed to Nei Ikuiku te bina for a hand in marriage. Traditionally, for the matrimony protocols, the eldest son had the right to do so among his younger brothers. They were more than happy when Nei Ikuiku te bina instantly felt grateful in her heart and agreed to the proposal. After all, they lived in the moon happily ever after.

Soon after their grandmother ended her story they were all asleep. They curled under her exhausted arms and slept peacefully. I did not sleep but was thinking about Nei Ikuiku te bina. She was the youngest. In my situation, I could be the youngest as well as the eldest because I’m the only child. However, I wished I could be like her; courageous and adventurous. I wanted to be brave like Nei Ikuiku te bina! It was very late when I grew tired of thinking about my life and fell asleep.

That night seemed like a dream. A nightmare. It hurt and angered me. I wanted his approval, his love, and his forgiveness.

Weeks went by quickly and I was always having nightmares and daydreams. One sunny day, a multitude of people were singing and playing on the beach. I rushed to look for my daughters when I heard that the young men whom they called – tautia (soldiers) who went on the mission were coming back. I stopped and smiled to the calm ebb tides moving slightly alongside the gentle wind. I sat next to the coconut tree beside the beach and began to daydream again. I felt very happy to meet my husband. I saw him calling my name among the waves when their boat was coming up the passage. He was waving his hand when the boat tripped on a huge rock. There were strangers underneath the rock so my husband with a pride in his heart could not wait. He took his dagger and his bead necklace (I gave him) and left them with one of the men on the boat. He then quickly dived and fought the strangers. While fighting underwater some of his friends rose for breath and dived again. As a good diver, he never rose up above the water for a long time. I started calling his name when he rose above the water and yelled. “You take the lead while I stop these strangers. I will teach them a lesson now so they won’t come fool us again. Tell my family I’m coming!” For those words I called his name again and again. Suddenly Miriama came and shook me. She told me to go home for someone is there to meet me. I was a bit slow and could not comprehend what I did. “Was it real or just a dream?” I asked myself. But before we arrived home, I recognized my Ramten’s cousin – Koteti. Koteti recalled the invasion of Tarawa Island by the United States military forces who drove the Japanese off from most of the islands. Before the Japanese were driven off they massacred nearly all the remaining Banabans before surrendering the island. Ramten and Koteti were among the group who were deported on Kosrae, in the Federated State of Micronesia. I was desperate to know what was happening to my husband so I interrupted, “what’s happening? Where’s my husband? Was my daydream true? Is he still fighting under the water near the ship?” I asked with my heart aching. Everyone confirmed the incident when they began to bow their heads and wept. Koteti was unable to quell the small tremors that seemed to be rising from his stomach. I then knew that Ram had died. I took my girls in my arms and cried hysterically above them. They girls cried too. Suddenly, Miriama as always, broke the silence when she asked, “Is there another boat coming? When will my father come back? I think I’m missing him!” From there, everyone felt more grief and sadness stirring our kainga - family land lonesome.

I will never forget I was the most affected one. That night everyone slept together in the family mwaneaba and the priest with some nuns came to offer a prayer. That time Miriama showed off her confidence in participation in the prayer meeting. I felt like Nei Ikuiku te bina again who was the saddest and most sorrowful person among her family. Then I remembered her courage when she tried to help grow the kimatore plant. I must be Nei Ikuiku te bina trying to be optimistic, for there is life at the end of the route. “I will grow in order to find new life and happiness!”  I told my heart. That night seemed like a dream. A nightmare. It hurt and angered me. I wanted his approval, his love, his forgiveness.

The next day, I was surprised to see Koteti again with his uncle and aunt coming towards our home. “Mauri!” I said as I smiled at them and guided them with my eyes pointing to the house where my in-laws were waiting for their tea and grated coconut for breakfast. I was more than astonished when I was called to sit among my in-laws and the visitors. “What’s all this for?” I asked straight away. “Koteti has asked us for your hand in marriage. He assures us that he would look after you and your daughters. Besides, he had promised your husband before he died that he would look after you and the kids.” “Yes … sure!” Koteki said.  “I was taking care of him when he was sick as an order by one of the Commanders in charge. Every time when we worked or retired before sleeping, we would talk about our families, beloved ones staying behind. I could recall his anticipation before the war ended. He was eager to see Aborina and his lovely daughters”, Koteti looked at the in-laws with regret in his voice. “Just before he died, he took my hand and gave me this piece of paper, a letter and begged me to hand it to Aborina safely so she could read and be assured.”  Koteti’s voice was trembling with grief. “So this is the letter!” my father-in-law responded, passing it to me. “Definitely, yes!”  Koteti tried to sound normal again. Instantly, my father-in-law inquired. “Did you hear that, Aborina? Before Ramten died, he wrote a letter to you and asked Koteti to hand it personally to you. Also, he asked Koteti to take care of you and your kids. What is then your answer, Aborina?” “Yes, I …I heard that but I need to think first. I think I just can’t believe this is happening all at once…talking about the deceased and marriage at the same time. Would you give me enough time to think it over, please?” I burst out crying. Then, I stopped and continued, “How could he do this to me? Why, why…? Before he went, he promised the girls and me that he would come back, instead he sent someone else to take his place. I just can’t believe this!”

“We are sorry, Aborina but if you don’t concur with Koteti’s account, we are here to persuade you. Koteti had been a faithful and honest son. He really felt for your husband’s loss and claims he is the right person for you and your daughters. Because he loves Ramten and you and your daughters, he wasn’t scared or ashamed to tell us. Honestly, as mouthpiece of Koteti’s family, we would like him to marry a single woman but because he pleaded to us for the sake of your husband, he chooses to marry you,” Koteti’s aunt began to weep.

“On top of that, Koteti, would you like to show Aborina the things that Ramten gave you. I think she might be sure of Ramten’s true wishes. Give it to me and I’ll show it to her”, Koteti’s uncle declared. “Sure, here.”  Koteti handed the brownish handkerchief to his uncle and looked down on the neat and new mat – te uaitera. When I saw the handkerchief, I remembered the souvenir I gave Ramten before his departure. I looked down and thought for a while. Then I asked them if I could be given a time to think first. I knew that it is the tradition for a woman to listen to the elders who are decision-makers. I also knew that it is not appropriate to turn down the initiation of an arranged marriage. That was against the Kiribati culture. In my situation, I was mature but still I did not have the right to decide for myself but only to show respect. I had to allow the elders in the family to decide for me. While I was daydreaming, but pretended to listen to the conversation between the two parties, I heard my mothers’ voice. Since my mother was a widow, she was called to be part of the decision-making, too, on my behalf. Culturally, that was the appropriate way and should be respected. However, at last, I gave up. It was my prayer that the decision made should be right for me.

I excused myself for I needed time alone. I walked towards the seawall. As I stood was watching the sea and the birds flying above in search for food, a face appeared inside my head. It was Ramten’s face! He posed the warrior’s charm and an image I supposed might turn a weaker female’s knees to kamwaimwai – toddy syrup. The one that Nei Ikuiku loved to drink! The man had dimples. The kind that slashed deep furrows in his cheeks when he smiled. His hair was black as midnight. He stood tall, broad at the shoulders and narrow at the hips. I supposed many a woman had sighed with pleasure over the mere sight of him. I sighed, then immediately straightened.

Koteti dragged in a deep breath. “I’m sorry I was impatient with your grieving for Ramten. Terribly sorry!” “I was grieving for my daughters, not Ramten” I replied. “Ramten had whittled away my love for him. There was only myself left” I pretended. “How was I to know that? You never gave any indication. I never realized you were disillusioned with your marriage”. His eyes narrowed. “How would you have reacted if I’d come running to tell you about Ramten’s death? You would have hated me for it, Aborina”. “It would have destroyed your friendship.” I mocked. I wrenched my arm out of his grasp and headed for the buia.  What he said hurt. It bit painfully into my psyche. Koteti sat beside me. “What makes you think I covered up for him?” “I know”. “Give me one example”. “Well, I’m just guessing”. “Aborina, I am not that kind of selfish man. Don’t think I’m ungrateful for your discretion. I’ve known Ramten for almost my entire life and we were always together in camp on Banaba and on Kosrae too. I’ve felt he was my twin brother”. I shook my head and wept copiously at the parcel he handed me.  “Aborina, for goodness sake! Don’t torture yourself like this”. Koteti cried.  “It doesn’t matter anymore, I said dully. Nothing can bring my handsome husband back”.

That night seemed like a dream. A nightmare.   It hurt and angered me. I wanted his approval, his love, and his forgiveness.

Just before we married, I took the time to read Ram’s letter and stared at the items, which were safely returned to me by Koteti. The letter read,

Kosrae 1943. To My dearest wife Aborina Taebo, Ko na mauri ma natim akana Miriama and Ruina, (Greetings to you and our daughters, Miriama and Ruina) Life is hard, darling. I know you are waiting for my return, as I was desperate for my meeting you too. It is hard to stay back when everyone is returning home. My cousin, Koteti had been my comrade since we left Kiribati and later arrived here on this beautiful land. He had tried to encourage me not to lose hope for the time of our return is near. I know but this but illness has weakened me, making me pathetic everyday. And I know that I cannot make it. For this I really want to let you know that I still love you with all my heart, together with my charming princesses. For this, I am asking Koteti if he can look after you and the girls. Don’t worry, I know him very well and he would make the best husband in the world. He is reliable and truthful to me and I know he will be likewise to you and the girls. Please, I assure you, do not worry for I will always be with you all. The items that you gave me had been very helpful to me so I have to return them back to you. I promised Miriama to bring back something special for them, so would you kindly show the parcel to both of them, please? Tell them I love them truly. I really miss them too. I love you very much, Aborina. From your loving and dying husband, Ramten Taabita.

I climbed down the buia. I had to get away from all this. It wasn’t doing me any good, raking over the miseries of the past. I had to look to the future, break with Ramten now and start a new life. That was abundantly clear. I had fallen in love with Ramten for his joy in living, his humor, his charm, his exuberant personality, the healthy body with which he made master of any physical challenge, and the mind that succeeded in solving problems few others could. I had thought myself the luckiest woman in the world that Ramten Taabita had fallen in love with me. I had never considered myself anyone special. I was only moderately pretty, helped along by a better than average figure that had been very firm and trim when I met Ramten.

After reading Ramten’s letter, I made an oath that I would marry Koteti no matter what the consequences. I believed that the handwriting was Ramten’s and I also knew that Koteti might be a faithful and honest husband and father to my girls. I then again recalled Nei Ikuiku te bina who started a new beginning again after trials and tribulations. I understood that life is full of challenges, but each of us should be brave enough to face and overcome them in order to live a better and happy life.

On top of that, it was the decision made for me by my elders, so I had to respect and obey them. The family was happy as well as my daughters. Ruina, the youngest did not know that Koteti was not her biological father while Miriama was a bit unsure. This made me sorry for them but then I knew that they would be well looked after by their new father, Koteti. Surely, he took care of my daughters well. The truth was never revealed because of the fatherly figure Koteti bore unto my family. His faithfulness and honesty to Ramten had made things possible for my children and me. This reflects Nei Ikuiku te bina when she married Nei Nibarara’s eldest son. After all her hard times, she found a right husband who gave her a new beginning and a prosperous future.

In my heart, I will always treasure Ramten’s faithfulness and dedication not only to me but to his people and country as well. While I am living, I will keep on telling my new generation about his bravery. He is my hero. I salute him and Koteti as well, for their great courage. Now I have married Koteti and have two children, a girl named Kanieu and a boy named Kariti. Together, I have three beautiful daughters like Nei Ikuiku te karimoa, te karinuka and te bina, and a handsome son. As a family of three girls and a boy, we are living happily together - forever. Vocabulary Mwaneaba- a traditional huge open meeting house Te kaota – a harvest show Te wa – the traditional canoe Unimwane – wise old men Bakatarawa – half woven mat made of coconut leaves Toddy – fresh juice collected from the coconut spathe Te mao – traditional bushes live beside the beaches Tia bo – good bye / we will meet again Te Tama – Catholic Priest / Father Nei – Miss / Mrs Te karimoa – the first born-child Te karinuka – the second born-child Te bina – the youngest / last born child Kimatore – the tiny plant that grows on sandy beaches Te tautia – a soldier Kainga – homeland belonging to family / ancestors buia – a traditional house built on high posts. Kamwaimwai – toddy syrup Mauri – good health / greetings Te uaitera – a typical double mat made neatly with pandanus leaves Ko na mauri – greetings to you (singular pronoun) Natim – your children

Tereeao Teingiia-Ratite is from Kiribati and is interested in writing life stories about life at home and about the family.